films, lists, my rambles, pop culture, review, reviews
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75 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching Fifty Shades of Grey

The other night I went to watch the very widely spoken about, Fifty Shades of Grey with two of my friends. Having read the book I definitely wasn’t expecting much, but felt like it was one of those obligatory films you have to see in the cinema, just to say you’ve seen it.

I’m not going to bother with a proper film review, so instead, inspired by some similar posts I’ve seen on Buzzfeed, here are some of the thoughts that were going through my head (and also escaping from my mouth to the ears of my friends,) during the film.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

  1. OH NO. That lip biting is going to piss me off during the whole film, I can just tell. Kristin Stewart much?
  2. Okay, I’m so going to be ‘Twilight’ spotting throughout this whole movie.
  3. Of course she drives a rundown VW, they always drive those.
  4. Wow, everyone was so right, that secretary looks exactly like Jamie King… How is that NOT Jamie King?
  5. God that fall was absolute cringe.
  6. Hi Jamie Dornan.
  7. Huh, you funny Ana.
  8. Ana you are so awkward, I hope I am never like that when I interview people.
  9. There’s that lip bite again. NOPE NOPE, I’m out.
  10. It’s raining and you have a hood on your jacket yet you don’t put it up. Why?
  11. Also, I bet getting drenched in rain is definitely a euphemism for a little something else.
    Universal Pictures
  12. Omg Kate stole her sandwich… Bitch.
  13. I still can’t believe Ana works at a hardware store.
  14. Lol I remember when I used to have a flip phone.
  15. Christian you are such a stalker.
  16. That’s so not what I expected Jose to look like tbh.
  17. Also, THAT LOOKS LIKE THE EXACT SAME CAR PARK IN TWILIGHT. Just sayin’.
  18. Christian looks so out of place in that cafe.
  19. Wow, Christian really ain’t into romance, he is also SO doing an Edward Cullen speech right now “stay away from me, I’m no good for you, blah blah blah”.
  20. Are you seriously wearing that out Ana?
  21. That drunk phone call was brill. Probably going to be the funniest part of the movie unfortunately.
  22. Ok, slightly overdone there Mr. Grey. Although Jose probably deserves it.
  23. Also, you still a mega stalker Christian.
  24. Awww, cute notes.
  25. Guys! Christian is taking his shirt off.
  26. OMG WTF HE JUST LEAPT ACROSS THE BED ON ALL FOURS LIKE AN ANIMAL AND THEN TOOK A BITE OUT OF HER TOAST AHHHHH!
  27. Uhm why does Ana look like she’s orgasming, like Christian has hardly even touched her.
  28. Ouch sister, he just denied you a kiss.
  29. Those men totally knew what you guys had been up to.
  30. Elliot is kind of like a less attractive version of Charlie Hunman.
  31. Eww eww don’t say “Later’s baby” ever again please.
  32. So jealous, I want to have a ride in that helicopter.
  33. I love this song and I love Ellie Goulding.
    Universal Pictures
  34. Nice house, mate.
  35. Omg of course he plays the piano, BECAUSE HE IS BASED ON EDWARD CULLEN.
  36. Way to dampen the mood Christian, nondisclosure agreement? Really?
  37. “It’s my playroom” “Like XBox and stuff” haha that made me laugh.
  38. Jamie has a very nice bottom.
  39. Also a very nice skylight.
  40. Why are you playing music at night? ALSO, this is so so Twilight, I can’t even.
  41. Omg I really feel like pancakes right now.
  42. Why are you not freaking out more that he’s in your apartment Ana?
  43. Ohhh good call, a front zip for easy access.
  44. Nice coat Ana.
  45. Uhm why is the room so dark?
  46. How can you even read in this non-existent light?
  47. Don’t you know that reading in the dark is bad for your eyes? Gawd.
  48. With the amount of time Christian and Ana took talking to each other on the stage, there definitely should be a line forming behind Ana, but there’s NO ONE.
  49. Lol, champagne in tea cups, probably something I’d do.
  50. Please someone buy me a car, stat.
  51. HAHA why does she call her Mum, Mumma?
  52. Kate girl, you just jealous!
  53. HAHA Christian’s hair braiding is definitely not the same one that’s shown in the close up.
  54. Beyonce’s voice is so distracting.
  55. Why is Rita Ora wearing such a terrible wig?
  56. In the book they’re supposed to have sex in that greenhouse, just sayin’.
  57. We all know which “friend” it is Christian.
  58. Don’t worry Ana, if my boyfriend was having dinner with the woman who pretty much molested him as a child, I wouldn’t pick up the phone for him either.
  59. Jesus Christ(ian)! Will you please stop stalking Ana?
  60. That face tho. Ana is so not impressed that you’ve stalked her all the way to Georgia.
  61. Jamie looks so hot.
    Universal Pictures
  62. Okay those jeans on Jamie is everything.
  63. Lol peacock feather
  64. Oh those puppy dog eyes!
  65. Omg no. I know what’s coming and I’m not looking forward to it!
  66. CONTINUITY ERROR ALERT
  67. NO, don’t do it Ana!!
  68. Belt. NOPE NOPE.
  69. I feel so sad and uncomfortable right now.
  70. “STOP”, Christian is such an obedient dog. Also, a completely messed up one.
  71. Way to cyclically tie up the film.
  72. Wait, don’t tell me that’s the end.
  73. It is the end.
  74. Oh.
  75. So I pretty much just watched a slightly more kinky version of Twilight? Ok.

Have you seen the film yet? What were your thoughts? Sexy as hell. Or complete garbage? Would love to know! Also, one of my friends who came along with me also wrote about her thoughts, check it out!

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4 Comments

  1. Pingback: My 106 Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey | CREATE. DREAM. INSPIRE.

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